“Hi, I am delivering your holes for this weekend’s party.”

“These don’t look like the holes we ordered, are you sure these are ours?”

“I am just the delivery guy, but our team does not usually make mistakes on the orders. If you aren’t satisfied or want to return them, you have to call the office.”

“Maybe they will work, I don’t think we have time to get replacement holes, the party starts in two hours.”

“According to the paperwork, these holes are from your rival frat. They have never been used……..oh nice, these are virgin holes. As per your direction, they have been shaved smooth. All hair below the earlobes has been removed.”

“I guess that is the right order.

Alright, we’ll take em.”  

“Excellent, I just need you to sign these forms acknowledging receipt. Right here on the line.  Thank you.  They are rented out to you for a 48 hour period, and will be picked up on Sunday between 6pm and 8pm. They are mildly sedated now, but the drugs should wear off fully in about an hour.

Please enjoy the holes and I will see you on Sunday”