Text from my roommate

Dude, what happened to me? Last I remember was going to the New Year’s party with some guys I met at the bar. They promised an amazing time, guaranteeing that a hot stud, like me would get laid. I must have gotten really wasted, cause I don’t remember anything after that. 

I just woke up, naked in this empty hotel room, my wallet and phone were on the nightstand.  According to my phone it is January 7th, and I am in Germany! How drunk was I? I mean, I have blacked out before, but never for a week. I think I might have been raped! My ass really hurts and I have this weird thing locked onto my dick.