Dude, now I understand. Last night I met your girlfriend and she seemed desperate to get fucked. What could I do, she was horny and she was hot. I took her into a toilet stall in the bar bathroom and bent her over.  Turns out she is a dirty slut.  She was so tight, it felt like I was fucking a virgin. 

I have to apologize.  Not for fucking her, that was obviously her choice once she saw me. I am apologizing for stretching out her cunt. It is now much deeper and wider than it was.  Looking at you now, I can tell that she will not even feel you inside of her, there is no way you will ever satisfy her again, if you ever did.  

So, I am sorry that I ruined your girlfriend for you.  I want to help you out, to make up for it. Next time you are together, give me a call, I will come over and fuck her properly while you sit next to the bed and watch.  That way you can still date her and keep her satisfied with a real man’s cock.