Dude, almost ready for your birthday party.  I just tapped your girlfriend, she has a nice load of my cream in her tight ass. I tapped the keg, it’s nice and cold. Now bend over so I can tap your ass. 

Trust me, the warm sensation of my jizz dripping out of your hairy ass, will take your mind off the fact that your girlfriend, just let me fuck her in the ass, because my dick is so much thicker than yours.  She kept telling me that now she knew what it was like to have a real man fuck her.  In fact she is the one who suggested I fuck you in the ass, so you would know how to properly plow a hole. So bend over and drop those shorts. You do not want to spend the rest of the night wondering what it is like to have a real man shoot his load in you.  If you don’t bend over for me now, I will tell all of your friends, about how your girlfriend has never been satisfied by your faggot cock. As they are laughing at you, I will pants you and I will throw you down on this lounge chair, taking your cherry hole in front of your buddies. 

Perhaps that is better, a birthday gang bang from all of your “former” friends, while your “former” girlfriend watches.