OK boy, we have had reports of someone fitting your description smuggling drugs in to the country.  Therefore you are to be given a full cavity search. Please remove your clothes.

Based upon your reaction to being given the order to strip, I am going to need to bring in several my fellow inspectors, to make sure that the search is done according to regulations. Please be assured that you will be given a very professional, very deep and thorough cavity search by each of us.  You should be aware that cavity searches may not be conclusive the first time, multiple searches may be required.